still...

So it's like what...beginning of April? and i thought i would being feeling all high on life, but no, i'm not. today was especially crappy. yeah. Friday..should be all woo hoo and stuff right? no, i'm just stuck at home, venting out all my anger on this blog...that no one probably reads ha. whatever. it's so weird how blogs help you vent stuff out. whatever. i have no life -sigh- dad always making up excuses not to take me to places...you know..i know when people are playing their stupid little games. i'm not that easily fooled, fool. life kinda sucks now. or maybe cause i'm in  a poopy mood. idk. i just wanna fastforward to some better period of time in my future life...what is this? i'm freaking complaining and i sound like a complete brat but i don't care. i can't be this perfect little happy angel who has it all together. 

off to watch a taiwanese drama ive been meaning to watch over the summer...

Ugh

"Ugh!" yep, that's exactly how i'm feeling...dunno how to put it any other way... again, school sucks and is kinda overwhelming..mostly cause i'm stupid and i don't get math. i'm not math oriented, okay? that's a true fact and my darn dad doesn't seem to get it. claims he can teach me-are you freaking serious?! and that it's easy-yeah, easy for you to say mr.i'm-engineer-therefore-i'm-good-at-math. whatever. 
parents can be such buttheads and obnoxious people. for reals. i know they have good intentions and stuff, but you know. sometimes, or majority of the time..they're over the top. and they're too stubborn to even let people tell them. dad trying to control where i go to college-SMH -___-

i honestly just want to get out of here...for some time. let all my troubles pause for a moment..clear my mind off. i don't want to go through this..it's getting to be a heavy load on my heart. don't know how much longer i can sustain. God...where are you?

Harro

So it's been awhile since the last post..kinda failed with keeping up with the blog -___- first post of the 2011 year! hooray! :) i guess...

a lot of things have happened since...Christmas and New Year's and what not.. a lot of personal issues and dealing with heartache. as much as i'd like to say i'm strong, i'm really not, when it comes to emotions and feelings..i just pray that God would continue to heal me, through this difficult time for me. through difficult times though, you actually discover a lot bout yourself and what you're searching for..

i just made a commitment to read through the 31 chapters of proverbs starting..tomorrow! my wonderful fren will be keeping me accountable. i'm really siked and pumped because i haven't been taking my devotions seriously..and one of my top prayer requests is that i make God the priority of my life...i need Him, more than anything, right now and anytime.

School, as always, is a freaking drag -___- my darn term paper is due like..this friday and i'm not even done with my rough draft!! wuht duh heck?! yes..ik i'm gonna go through facebook withdrawal.. IT MUST BE DONE >_< the internet is TOO distracting :( I CAN'T WAIT TILL I PHYSICALLY HAND THAT PAPER IN...it will be like a huge weight of relief lifted off my shoulders :) best feeling ever! the only classes i like are...chorus, lunch, art, gym, and chinese...lulz some of them aren't really classes but whatevs. man, these color changes are horrible T_T but.... a song that has been stuck in my head is Everything By Tim Hughes

God in my hoping, there in my dreaming
God in my watching, God in my waiting
God in my laughing, there in my weeping
God in my hurting, God in my healing
be my everything, be my everything <3